Thursday, December 22, 2005

A Yearning for Glory in the Halls of Office Buildings

This is a time of year when nobody at my place of employment has any need of my services. I've got a whole department full of LCD projectors, DVD production, rolling wireless computers, DAT recorders, and Anything That Can Fit on a Cart -- On a Cart. And yet, my schedule is blank until January 3rd. As such, the boredom can get rather intense. I have already cleaned my work area twice, created a handful of PowerPoint templates, sketched out a blueprint for a homebrew high-definition media center PC, fixed the broken laser pointer, and got the office's new lightscribe DVD burner working. Beyond that, until the scheduled events start up again in January, I really haven't much to do. So I am seriously considering starting a Hallway Sports League.

I get this idea because I took second place in the peanut butter football league my floormates and I thought up freshman year, and I have been yearning for that level of glory, as well as rewards that don't involve being forced to clean peanut butter off of dorm hallway walls. So I've been tossing around a few ideas for Office Hallway Sports Leagues:
  • Bagel Horseshoes
  • Pen and Rubberband Archery
  • Task Chair Equestrian Events
  • Coffee Filterpack Hockey
  • 3-team Basketball
  • 5-team Basketball
  • Every Man For Himself Basketball
  • Tackle the I.T. Guy
  • Kill the Man with the Paychecks
  • Desk Gymnastics (vault, balance beam and floor excercise)
  • Mayonnaise Football
  • Stale Muffin Handball
  • Hallway Slalom
  • Christmas Tree Ornament Dodgeball
  • Windex Fencing
I think I would fare well in any of the above. And the best part is that if my boss complains, I can just offer her a handicap. Personally, I think the only reason the assistant residence director complained about our peanut butter football league is that her team came in last. O, how I yearn for glory in the halls of... hallways. O, how I yearn.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote for Hallway Slalom or Bagel Horseshoes.

When we were little my dad used to run us down the hallways of his office building in a wheelchair. (It belonged to his office.) Mad, mad fun.

Fri Dec 23, 08:22:00 AM CST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Suck!

How exactly does Peanut Butter Football work? Is the PB in it's container until a particularly nasty tackle, or are you actually flinging gobs of brownish goo around, trying to score a touchdown?

That sounds far more fun that what we got busted for freshman year: plastic bowling. You know, one of those toy sets you can get at KB for five bucks? We only made it through two frames before we got kicked out of the hallway.

Fri Dec 23, 09:23:00 AM CST  
Blogger Ben of the Azure Sea said...

No tackling or flinging; it mainly consisted of field-goal kicking. I put one right down central and hit the fire extinguisher from a good 30 feet. You should have seen it. You've got to hand it to Skippy for their choice of container. That first still-sealed plastic jar lasted eight and a quarter games before exploding against the wall on a wide right.

Fri Dec 23, 10:41:00 AM CST  

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