Samuel August Rotskoff

My nephew, Samuel August Rotskoff, was born on June 3rd. 8 pounds, 2 ounces. Sam and parents Joe and Kelly are all doing great. I, on the other hand, could not be more weirded out. I mean, seriously. This is ME we're talking about. I don't know what kind of uncle I'll be.

I'm not a thief, so I can't be the Klepto Uncle. I'm not crazy, so I can't be the Psycho Uncle. I work 2 jobs and go to graduate school, so I can't be the Fun Uncle. I'm even self-supporting (more or less), so I can't even be the Mooch Uncle. I won't be a sitcom uncle, always dropping by to annoy everybody and steal the show from the main cast. But I still need to be some sort of specific Uncle. Any suggestions?