Someone has WAAAAAAY too much money and free time.

Triple X (plus one)

So I checked my driver's license and discovered that I am 31 years old today. A little over one year ago I was sitting at my desk at my old place of employment, knowing that I was within a week of the end of my tour there, having been informed of my downsizing less than a month earlier. I was strongly considering laying down some weblog smack on turning 30 and employment and unemployment and all else that was wrong in my life.

Then I realized it would have sounded bitchy.

So I decided to leave the blog alone for a year (well, a month, then two months, then three, and eventually it became a year), after which I hoped I would have something better to write about. So here's what I have to write about:

Nothing, really.

Don't get me wrong. A lot has happened since the last time the Earth was in this position in its orbit around the sun. Just not a whole lot of good things. So I'm trying to gain a more positive mindset in looking at the immediate future and each time I try I wind up looking a few years back.

I have skill sets. Good skills. Skills that everyone in 2000 told me would be marketable for years to come. Unfortunately, those people did not tell me that those years would only be 2000 and 2001. After that, it seemed like advanced technical skills and $1.25 could get you on the subway. I sat patiently and waited for my skill sets to come back into demand, and they did -- in India.

I do not live in India. I live in the American Midwest, where technical jobs are hard to come by. It seems that each region of this country reacts to economic downturns differently; the Midwest reacts by reverting to a farming community. People who used to work in high tech can now be seen riding tractors and hauling grain. The guy who sold you your iPod last year now wants to know if he can interest you in some top quality fertilizer. The staff of Circuit City is cracking out a living with their roadside fruit stand and it's weirding me out.

And it's brought me to a spot in my life in which I'm going to have to do one of two things: Either I'm going to have to toss my old skill set and get a new one, a process which may take years; or else leave the American Midwest for greener pastures elsewhere, an option which will be expensive and time-consuming and could just as easily leave me unemployed in a new city. I'm looking for advice wherever I can get it, so if you would like to leave a comment other than "FIRST!" please feel free to do so.

So that's my Age 31 rant. I sincerely hope that it doesn't come across as bitchy or whiny. I'm holding out hope for the future and the return of at least moderate prosperity. And now if you will excuse me, this corn won't husk itself.

Ninja Cat

This is precisely why I'm not a cat person.

The Super Mario Bros. Theme Performed by an RC Car and Some Bottles of Wine

Pardon my silence, I'll be updating soon.

In the meantime, please enjoy this:


http://view.break.com/487616

People I Know. Or Sorta Know. Or Met. Once. In Passing.

1. Dan Meth

When I was in college, which is starting to seem like so long ago, I worked on a student-produced television program. One of the first people we invited onto this program as a guest produced a comic strip for the student paper, a sophomore by the name of Dan Meth. Dan had some serious (if undeveloped) artistic talent and a sharp wit, and I thought that one day he would be famous.

Or, at least I would have, had I possessed any foresight. For now, Dan is on the edge of fame, the point where any of us who knew him in the Beforetime start to feel that sense of pride that can only come from meeting somebody in passing who later becomes famous. It's an indescribable feeling.

Why, you may ask, is this Dan Meth on the verge of fame? Why, for the same reason anybody else in the 21st century becomes famous: He's gotten a lot of hits on YouTube. Or rather, his animated tribute to other people who became famous thanks to YouTube has gotten a lot of hits on YouTube. He works for Frederator animation studios, the good people who gave us such awesome shows as The Fairly Oddparents and My Life as a Teenage Robot.

Here is Dan's most recent work. I know Dan Meth. Sorta. Or I met him. Once. In passing.

Samuel August Rotskoff

My nephew, Samuel August Rotskoff, was born on June 3rd. 8 pounds, 2 ounces. Sam and parents Joe and Kelly are all doing great. I, on the other hand, could not be more weirded out. I mean, seriously. This is ME we're talking about. I don't know what kind of uncle I'll be.

I'm not a thief, so I can't be the Klepto Uncle. I'm not crazy, so I can't be the Psycho Uncle. I work 2 jobs and go to graduate school, so I can't be the Fun Uncle. I'm even self-supporting (more or less), so I can't even be the Mooch Uncle. I won't be a sitcom uncle, always dropping by to annoy everybody and steal the show from the main cast. But I still need to be some sort of specific Uncle. Any suggestions?

Snowy

And now it's snowing.

And in six hours the snow will turn to sleet, and then rain, and then some sort of fantasy creatures that want to turn everything in the world into cotton candy or eat our brains. Or both.